i would like to speak to all the children who read;

    sex is the very best thing in the whole world. life is short so the earlier you get started, the longer you'll have to have as many orgasms as possible before you die.

  adults always tell you to "wait until marriage", but sex feels just as great when you're eleven years old. condoms suck because you can't feel anything anyways.

   also,

     drugs are pretty neat.. don't be a wuss. not all of them are all that "bad" for you, and some of them are a lot of fun.

   drinking and driving is the best! you know how you're young and you feel like you're invincible? you are! don't let anyone tell you different!

 stealing only counts if you get caught. you don't need an after school job to get the things you want... all those adults that tell you that "earning the things you want makes you value them more" are lying to you. they are just bitter because they are slaves to their jobs and are too scared to steal.

      shoplifting is EASY. all you have to do is move fast and don't appear nervous. don't lurk. pacing back and forth to case the situation draws attention to you. walk in. grab. conseal. walk out. easy as pie!

  (Mmmmm pie!)

oh, and be sure to look directly in the security camera and flip it off for added fun.

 need to go to a party?

find that creepy kid at your school who's 19 and still in the 10th grade. every school has one. he is old enough to buy everything you need: cigarettes, porn, liquor and weed. he's also probably socially inept and will enjoy the attention enough to do favors for you..

remember - you don't hate your parents because you're rebellious. You hate them because you're right and they don't understand you. and yes, suicide is always the answer..

that should thin the herd a bit.

  the kid that drinks the most bleach doesn't grow up to pass down his genes..

my name is 'brad'

  and i'll make a swell dad.