"do you have Mountain Dew?"
 "we have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Orange Soda, and Iced Tea."
"no Mountain Dew? hmmm... do you have Dr. Pepper?"
 "we have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Orange Soda, and Iced Tea."
"grape soda?"
    "no."
"ginger ale?"
    "no.."
"hmmmm. what sodas do you have again?"
 "we have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Orange Soda, and Iced Tea"
"diet Sprite?"

    [ what, you need another example? fine. ]

"i want a quarter pounder... and uhhhh a medium fries..... and uhhhhhh a six piece McNuggets.. and uhhhhhhh a medium coke..... and uhhhhhh actually make that a large coke and uhhhh.. a big mac... yeah."
  "that will be $17.75. please."
(counting a big pile of loose, wrinkled bills and assorted coins)

"uhhhhhhhh... and can i get one of those pies?"
  "$18.96."
"do you still have that McRib sandwich?"
  "no ma'am."
"are you sure? that was good."
  "we just have what's up on the board..."
"ok, but i was hoping to get one of those. maybe i should talk to the manager..."
  "i am the manager. they only do the McRib as a special thing ocassionally." [manager is 18 years old]
"ok...... [looks up at the menu board for a long time as if it's all new. still scanning for McRib.] and uhhhhhh... if i get a combo, can i exchange my drink for another thing of french fries? ok... uhhhh - change that to a combo and give me double fries...... uhhhhhh and... uhhhhh can i get a quarter pounder with cheese? what do you want, baby?"

[ four year old child continues picking his nose and points at the picture of a double quarter pounder with cheese]

"no, no, baby. you're not getting that. what do you want?"

[child continues picking his nose and points at the picture of an ice cream cone]

"c'mon baby, that's dessert. you want a burger?"

[child buries his face in his mother's hip and she continues to try to coax him to make his own decision about what to eat]

"ok, just give me a Happy Meal."
  "$22.49."
[still shuffling through a big pile of bills and coin]

"ummmmmmmmm... how much will if it be if i add a medium shake?"
  "$25.37."
"ohh! i forgot to tell you i had a coupon for that value meal."

at this point, enough time has elapsed that i have constructed a crude homemade gun out of the ketchup bin, a napkin dispenser, a couple straws and the plastic head of the Mayor McCheese statue from the play area and threaten to kill the fücker if he doesn't hurry up...

  due to the death threats; screaming ensues, though the child continues picking his nose. and as always; the fries are still soggy...

my name is brad,

  and "i'm luvin' it.."