won't be playing paintball for a while...

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24 septiembre

won't be playing paintball for a while...

hey everyone,
you wouldn't even fückin' believe...
[this could be a long story, we'll see.]

so... i was out at the 'x-treme paintball' tourney field, for those who know me, it's the place out off the Fredericton highway, just by the Grand Bay exit.    anyways, you register, they fill a tourney, you go out on the day... mostly random and shit.. right?    but you get enough guys on 'your' side to register, then the more strategic it gets, usually it's first thirty to register, so 15 vs. 15. i was with five of my buddies... so together, we made six..
   we were given masks and overalls, but otherwise no form of protection. the weekend before had been 'Nam week on the History Channel and movies like Platoon, Apocalypse Now, and Full Metal Jacket were playing, and since i have done a tour 'in the jungle' back in the seventies, i naturally watched the movies. did i you know i recieved my purple heart for losing a toe, whoa... step back brad. step back.
   when i turned up for paintballing, the opposing team were made up primarily of Chinese.
   something snapped.
i rampaged through the woods
   blasting everyone in sight;
one poor boy... screamed for me to stop.
i grabbed their flag and was running back to base when some shitbag popped out of a bush and shot me.
        in my left testicle!
a fact now indelibly lodged in my brain is that paintballs fly at 324 feet per second. you know how much it hurts if someone just flicks your nut? this actually punched my balls back up inside me for almost a fortnight. i passed out instantly... and when i woke up, i reached in pain for my 'sacred area' only to find that my genitals have receded into my body... and to make matters worse, my hand was covered in neon green paint.
someone hit me.. in the.. left nut,
         ...with a neon green eff'n paintball!

my name is brad,
and my left nut is painted 'neon green'
and probably black and blue under the paint.

13:58 | Agregar al blog

Comentarios (16)

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	hellachella escribió: Hee Hee... The best post ever. I am sad to see it go. Goodbye Green nut Post. I feel like writing a poem. Left Nut Victim of the paintball gun You sacrificed yourself for the good of everyone How a cup would have prevented The pain And anguish. Heal fast little friend. 14 Oct
	jaclyn escribió: Don't lie to Alien Brad... you know that the paint did seep through your pants and on to your balls... and that they are still in fact neon green... you told the story... now don't be ashamed of the outcome! 25 Sep
	firelightening01 escribió: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww f*ck dude didnt want any kids did you?? ouch Just a flick is enough let alone a wack like that. I would say that i feel your pain but im quite glad i dont. Hope you recover quick. 25 Sep
	PJ-GRRL escribió: hey brad! oops i mean brad. you always sign my guestbook brad. with a period. anyway, hope your nut is feelin' better ;) neon green.... interesting! ::hugs:: 24 Sep
	number_chelle escribió: So Srad, How are the emralds now? Better? Did you ice them? Have they redescended? I'm very concerned. 24 Sep
	Scar_AL_ escribió: heh heh, blue balls.. under the green balls go get cathy the town hoe to kiss them better, or at least suck them out of your torso. 24 Sep
	eBunnylicious escribió: hahaha... Comments are just as good as the posts here. 24 Sep
	VisitingSweethonesty escribió: LMAO!!! I hope that youhave some one to rub that out for ya! Dan's been tryin to get me paint ballin...but know I don't know!!! Hey I can think of some people I'd really enjoy shooting!! hmmm.... Hope all is well! I love my tatt!!! 24 Sep
	busty_blondes3 escribió: Ouch buddy. . . thats all I can say. . . Wow.. . I can't imagine the kinda of pain you must be in. . lol. I think I would suggest a jock next time perhaps. . . awesome page. . . defianlty love the Mario Brothers background music. . . adds so much more. . . Do me a favour and don't visit mine. .lol. . I have no idea how to do anything to it. . lol. . unless you can give me notes on how to do it. .i.e. change the back ground etc. . Good luck with the balls. . and hopefully you got a girl ther to help ya ; ) Hugz Kryssy xo 24 Sep
	™ĦΔЯŁΞΨ™ escribió: LMFAO brad, will i guess i finally took the 30 seconds it takes or so to leave a comment, my advice to you is this, NEXT TIME WEAR A CUP, may save on the pain and discomfert a mans nuts can give him....and like u saidm just a lil lick is enough to have a person topplin over with terrible pain, so i cant even imagine a paintball to the nuts lol but its true when someone once said, "another persons pain is another persons pleasure" lol take care I will link yer page from mine fer others to check out. Later, Harley 24 Sep
	number_chelle escribió: Not just ordinary sick, Guy. Coughing up possums sick. People get shot in the balls everyday with paintguns. I might be on the news. Or in the weekly world news. I'm phoning them right now. You should subscribe so you can recieve mail about it. 24 Sep
	[ brad ] escribió: paint balls. i get it. "LOL" 24 Sep
	number_chelle escribió: Gives new Meaning to PAINT BALL. You know, 'cause your ball is painted. OH I AM FUNNY. Who else can I tell my hysterical joke to? 24 Sep
	Genius escribió: I only missed your flourescent testicle story because I am a scatterbrained GENIUS. As geniuses tend to be. My favorite color is green (the official genius' favorite). But green testicles are not. My. Favorite. Probably not your favorite either. Back to do doing geniusy type things. Later Scradmunch. 24 Sep
	brad. escribió: Alien, I had pants on. that's just the colour that hit me. for story-telling effect. stop picturing me without any pants on, you do it all the time. 24 Sep
	Alien escribió: If your nut is painted green wouldn't that mean it would have had to be in direct contact with the paintball? (I.E. no pants between your nut and the paintball? Why did you think playing with no pants on would be a smart idea? That will teach you to play like that. 24 Sep

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