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what.. was I thinking..???cause it seemed like a damn good idea at the time... [ this site is rated PG-18 ]{ OPEN 24/7 } August 18 LIVE via satellite...hey guys and gals,
you know what really grinds my gears...
any show where they bother to mention that someone is;
"joining us.. LIVE via satellite."
that must have seemed pretty cool and 'high-tech' in the 80's, but it means fuck-all today. ya know what else is joining us live via satellite?
ALL TV!
THE INTERNET!
YOUR PAGER! [do people still use these?]
EVERY FUCKING PHONE CALL YOU MAKE!
YOUR TOOTHBRUSH...
...pretty much EVERYTHING!
my name is 'brad',
and i have a satellite named after me.
"brad sez" 'you don't pay a hooker to have sex with you,
...you pay a hooker to leave afterwards...'
click below to join up!
August 07 dirty sheep-fu&%ers...a notice to sheep-fuckers,
i heard its best to do it on the edge of a cliff...
...they push back.
so i heard..
my name is 'brad',
and sheep are sexy...
as always,
June 10 too sexy.ladies and gentlemen,
i present to you...
"i'm too sexy.."
* may not be 'actual' picture of 'brad'
"...for this towel."
my name is 'brad',
and you can now go wash your eyes.
"p.s."
as like most days,
i have to promote the greatest,
online rpg.... ever!
June 07 picture of 'brad'ladies and gentlemen...
i present to you,
"brad" (the earlier years.)
*may not be 'actual' picture of 'brad'
my name is 'brad',
and yes, i do play Nintendo. June 02 hobowars promoMay 19 eat my shorts, msn!ahem,
[put the kids to bed before you read this one]
haha
Just a friendly hello,
to all the perverts who come to my site through a search engine...
my site does not contain the shit you are looking for in the context you are looking for it in...
but thanks for dropping by...
also,
tits, ass, boobs, xxx, sex, porn, cheerleader, naked, shower, bed, kiss, sexy, milf, shaved, fuck, video camera, college, girl, Paris Hilton, erotic, oral, party, masturbate, sleep over, pee, blow job, sex, cum, nipple, masturbation, McDonald's, soccer mom, teen, ass, drunk, porno, sex, deep throat, amateur, stripping, voyeur, orgasm and vagina.
---> i am now taking bets whether or not 'msn' will consider any of the above words to be 'offensive' enough to get one of those blog removal emails. but darnded, im'ma goin' to keep tryin' to git one... ;) wtf. i used an 'emoticon', how gay. [not that there is anything wrong with that] oh shit... i used "wtf" too... omg that is so fucked up, omg, i did it again.. twice.
i'm getting the fuck off the internet.
my name is 'brad'
and this post should get me 50,000 hits.
and should get me a msn warning...
"oh yeah"
micheal moore
thinks you're a loser!
May 13 this is the Sixth Reich.know your dope fiend:
-- you will not be able to see his eyes because of tea shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim.
my name is 'brad', and i am 'not' a dope fiend...
"p.s." click here to sign up to: May 06 merry christmas, bitches!'public service announcement', to all my readers.. (all 6 or 7 of you,)
ahem.., santa clause himself will be dropping his fat ass down a chimney near you; in just..
232 days
get the milk n' cookies ready...
my name is 'brad', and this has been a 'pubic service announcement' April 24 an illusion:hey guys (and girls),
here is an illusion for you:
if you look really carefully,
after a few seconds..
you'll be able to see toronto's CN tower
in the background.
"lol"
my name is 'Rusty Shackleford',
and... boooooobs!!!!!!!!
"p.s."
[help brad, signing up gives him $$$]
{sign up, click the activation email, no spam} April 17 pick up the effin popcan, man.today we talk about;
completely casual litterers.
if there's something in their hands that they don't need, they simply drop it where ever they're standing as though it's completely natural.
the guy's hand rises to his mouth with his pepsi can..,
he takes a sip,
then he lowers his hand.
then he raises the can to his mouth again,
drinks the last.. few drops,
then lowers his hand just as naturally as before,
but this time when the hand reaches the bottom,
it relaxes and the can simply falls to the ground.
people nearby hear the clink and look to see what it is, and they see the can rolling on the ground, but when they look at the guy, his face is completely without any expression that would indicate that he had done anything unusual. he's the only one around that seems to be completely unaware that there's a can there at all.
someone says to him,
"uhh... i think you dropped something."
he looks completely confused
and has apparently been stricken deaf.
"huh???"
they push the issue.
"would you mind picking up that can you dropped?"
now the guy hears just fine and is absolutely outraged that someone would slander him like that. he littered, but you're the biggest asshole on the planet to actually point it out...
"what the fuck?! i didn't drop shit! did you see me drop that fuckin' can? no! fuck, i didn't even know it was there until you pointed it out!"
they press the issue further;
""whatever. just pick it up."
now the guy fully owns up to dropping it and stonewalls. "pffft. yeah, i dropped it. so what? what are you gonna do? you think you're a cop or something?"
this is where you just punch him in the face.
my name is 'Rusty Shackleford',
and i have 'brad' tied up in the basement.
"p.s."
April 10 the internet fetish,grab a coffee, smoke,
beer, candy bar.. or whatever,
have a seat...
prepare yourself for this blog:
it's going to be long one i think...
ok,
everyone right now; are 'surfing' on;
say it with me...
"the in-ter-net.."
besides my shitty blog,
you know what else the internet supplies?
websites, messageboards, and chatrooms for
beyond fucked up fetishes...
these fetishes are so stupid ;
they could have only come from the internet.
when i first heard about the rather disturbingly large number of "furry" sites on the internet, i thought, wow! now that's the dumbest thing i have ever seen. [if you don't know what a 'furry' is, it is grown adults who dress up in Disneyland type plush animal costumes an hump each other for sexual pleasure...] you think i made that up? google it.
the sex in the animal costumes is not what bothers me,
it's the fact that this was only the tip of the iceberg. soon, with some very simple google searching, i came to find that there was no shortage of completely retarded fetishes to be laughed at...
there are people who have a fetish for watching women stuck in quicksand..... why? how? there are guys who like to dress up as women, complete with woman masks, there is this one website for a fetish where girls blow up balloons in the nude until they break, there are guys who like to dress up in clothes meant to resemble what might be found on little girl's toy dolls, there is erotic fan-fiction for just about every book, tv show, movie, and cartoon ever made, you got your weird photoshopped shit with girls with multiple pairs of tits, and there are people who whack off on the idea of being eaten by giants.
only on the fucking internet could idiocy like this find a community.
ever get busted picking your nose at a traffic light?
no worries,
somewhere there's some freak sitting in his dark basement apartment busting a nut right now to a grainy slow motion closeup video of someone picking their nose,
and he has lots of friends who like the same perversion
- thanks to the internet.
my name is 'brad'
and 'erotic-fan fiction' is the worst.
"p.s."
will this finally be the blog that pushes the msn guidelines buttons,
i have yet to recieve a "Please Remove link: http://blahblah.404 Post as it its deemed inappropriate by msn standards"
send me my letter msn...
i fuckin' double dare ya,
"also"
---->
April 03 brad has too much time...what is up with...
"people" who write big,
lonnnnnnnnnng posts..
15x a day to talk about:
how their lunch was,
how their gym class was,
how cute billy or suzy was,
how much homework they have,
how heavy their bookbag is,
how early their curfew is,
how their mom bitched at them today the way she does in every other post,
who's annoying,
who's awesome,
why good charlotte, sum41 and avril lavinge are the greatest bands ever, then they put lots of little web quizzes on their page that are completely meaningless like;
"which power puff girl are you?"
or
"which backstreet boy are you most likely to marry?"
and, of course,
they have the obiligatory 15 to 20 sparkly clipart images, half of which have broken red x's for their links.
and then,
when they stumble upon my page and disagree with me or find me to be crude/offensive/or lame, they write a big... lonnnnnng post about how I obviously have too much time on my hands...
hahahaha..
ah hahahah ha ha
my name is 'brad',
and that's about it...
"p.s."
as of; saturday, april 1st, 2006
the jeep is in softop mode.
March 27 brad helpsi would like to speak to all the children who read;
sex is the very best thing in the whole world. life is short so the earlier you get started, the longer you'll have to have as many orgasms as possible before you die. adults always tell you to "wait until marriage", but sex feels just as great when you're eleven years old. condoms suck because you can't feel anything anyways.
also, drugs are pretty neat.. don't be a wuss. not all of them are all that "bad" for you, and some of them are a lot of fun. drinking and driving is the best! you know how you're young and you feel like you're invincible? you are! don't let anyone tell you different! stealing only counts if you get caught. you don't need an after school job to get the things you want... all those adults that tell you that "earning the things you want makes you value them more" are lying to you. they are just bitter because they are slaves to their jobs and are too scared to steal. shoplifting is EASY. all you have to do is move fast and don't appear nervous. don't lurk. pacing back and forth to case the situation draws attention to you. walk in. grab. conseal. walk out. easy as pie! (Mmmmm pie!) oh, and be sure to look directly in the security camera and flip it off for added fun. need to go to a party? find that creepy kid at your school who's 19 and still in the 10th grade. every school has one. he is old enough to buy everything you need: cigarettes, porn, liquor and weed. he's also probably socially inept and will enjoy the attention enough to do favors for you..
remember - you don't hate your parents because you're rebellious. You hate them because you're right and they don't understand you. and yes, suicide is always the answer..
that should thin the herd a bit. the kid that drinks the most bleach doesn't grow up to pass down his genes..
my name is 'brad' and i'll make a swell dad. March 23 i gotta go pee.
motion sensing devices that are extremely sensitive... except when they are actually supposed to activate.
what... you people 'need' and example??
fine. you walk into a public restroom and the toilet flushes and the paper towel blower starts blowing out some very loud hot air. you walk into the stall, pull down your pants, sit down, and the toilet flushes again. you do your business and stand up, expecting the toilet to flush. it doesn't. then you walk over to the sink to wash your hands. as soon as you walk within a six foot radius of the hand dryer it blows out some more hot air at you. you wiggle your hands under the blower for about 10-15 seconds and it shuts off, you begin to wave your hands under and around the blower for the next 25 seconds nothing happens. you sigh in frustration, then inexplicably, the toilet flushes.. you continue waving your hands franticly in front of the hand dryer for a few seconds before giving up. you sigh again beacuse your hands aren't dry, so you finish drying your hands on the side of your pants.. as you open the restroom door to leave, the hand dryer kicks in and the toilet flushes...
and lets not forget light switches with motion sensors.
my name is 'brad' and public washrooms freak me out..
"p.s." the Kinder Surprise Corporation are finally starting to market to an older generation..
"p.p.s" the following may offend some...
"they" say that guys who drive big flashy cars have a small penis,
well i say, women who drive minivans must have large vaginas.
bring on the hate-comments. haha March 18 stores and doors.what...
a blog? holy shit.
what.. was i thinking?
you know what really chaps my ass..
'stores' that have a double door entry way,
but...<-- pretty big 'but'
only leave one of them unlocked and usable, during shopping hours.
you see... the 'stores' enjoy doing this...
they like to see you have to guess which one you will be able to push without looking like a retard pushing on a locked door. several other people will look like complete and utter retards when they briskly slam into the locked door, after boldly assuming 'it's friday afternoon on a busy shopping day, surely both doors will be unlocked..'
what is the store trying to do..
use one door until it wears out and then switch to the "fresh" one?
my name is 'brad'
and i like chocolate chip cookies.
"p.s."
--->
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
March 14 today.here it is folks,
today, is the day.
the day everyone has been waiting for,
today, my name is...
the 'birthday boy'...
* may or may not be 'actual' picture of 'brad'
25 years in the making...
"p.s." this post will be milked...
for at least 7 days, then i return to blogging.
March 13 tomorrow,dear: 'people'
as you may have read yesterday,
in two days, 'it' will happen.
i must regretfully inform you that 'it' will no longer happen in two days, but one.
tomorrow...
tomorrow is the day.
what? what is tomorrow, you may ask.
well. i'll tell you...
it is something, so fuckin' awesome...
that is has taken a quarter of a century (25 years) to accomplish.
thank you,
my name is 'brad' March 12 tu daze.hello everyone,
(..who bothers to read.)
please be advised that:
'it' is going to happen in...
two days.
thank you,
my name is 'brad'. March 02 hobowarshey everyone,
seems i have found a new internet addiction,
yes, an addiction...
much more powerful than any heroin addiction,
less headaches than any alcohol addiction...
much more.. powerful
than the craving...
of a KFC bucket of chicken
yes... this is hobowars.
it has quickly,
become my favorite internet game.
my name is 'brad',
and my hobo's name is:
Nintendo © (333055)
and i'll pimp out J-Jay's hobo too...
Gameboy © (336563)
"p.s." -
this internet game is a 'text based-rpg'
for those who don't know of them
they can be hard and confusing at first,
but very fun and addicting once you start. February 25 eminem - encoreencores at rock concerts.
it's the same every time.
'the band' plays all their major songs except two or three of their most notable. then they go offstage but the house lights aren't lit up. for the next three to however many minutes the crowd stamps their feet and goes,
"wooooooo!!!!!"
and "yeeeHaawwww"
and the traditional...
"youuuuuu rock!!!!!!!!"
then,
big fucking surprise,
the band comes out and plays a couple more songs, complete with unique multimedia visualizations on the background.
what is an encore?
: it's an impromptu thanks for being a great audience.
if the encore is originally planned as part of the show, then where's the bonus? you just wanted to make the crowd work to get to hear the last two/three (and possibly best) songs of the setlist...
my name is 'brad',
and i rock. February 13 dear dog, it's brad.dear "god",
so far today, god i've done all right...
i haven't gossiped... i haven't lost my temper, i haven't been greedy.. grumpy,
nasty, selfish,
or over indulgent.
and, god.. i'm really glad about that.
but in a few minutes, god i'm going to get out of bed..
and from then on i'm probably..
..going to need a lot more help.
thank you in my name, 'brad' amen. February 05 "asian hookers"only the serious questions;
get serious answers..
so with that..,
think about this......,
when the 'asian hooker' who always says..
"shheee so horny baybee,
shhee luv yu lonnng time..."
do you think she'll really love you long time?
or do they just say that?
does anyone know if they really do it a long time if they say that?
or do they just say that for advertisement???
my name is 'brad',
and i love you, long time..
"p.s."
check out this shit...
go to www.google.com
type Elmer Fudd
and click "I'm Feeling Lucky"
pretty cool, eh? January 24 no blog.hey guys and dolls,
what's goin' on..
i 'suppose' that you are all 'here' to 'read' something that i 'posted'.
what if there wasn't a new blog here today?
what if...
i just rambled on, and on, and on...
and on...
and on...
annnnnd on.....
and on....
oh hey wait...
get this;
some of "you people" have claimed they have left my space "laughing"
> click here...
some of you people "reading" this site acutally "laugh"
bullshit,
how you goin' to laugh if i don't have a blog?
seriously guys,
i didn't write a blog today.
sorry.
maybe the next post i'll talk about 'asian hookers' or something...
or maybe a topic like: 'encores at rock concerts' or something...
but today,
no blog for you.
my name is 'brad'
and this is an 'un-blog'...
"p.s."
huh? January 20 numa numa ver 2.0alright 'people' listen up,
i need to know how this dude,
... in about 'one minute'
[ the approx. length of the video or whatnot ]
did a complete one-eighty from being an obscure, bump in the hallway.. say sorry, buy ya a coffee at work the next morning, well.. if he had a job; kind-of-guy...
into,
this guy...
the coolest, funniest, most charasmatic, sexiest,
most viewed dude on the internet.
who said sexiest??
don't know what i'm talking about?
watch > this < video.
i'm wondering,
what the hell do -i- have to do
to get that much recognition?
* may not be 'actual' picture of 'brad'
what video would i have to release...
my name is brad,
and this should have been the 'aisian hookers' blog,
but numa numa dude pulled rank.
"p.s."
it's the numa numa dude trying out for american idol.
also a a very funny video...
"also"
there will be a new 'photo blog' entry,
as seen before in: 'brad's day'
this will also be a "_____'s day"
the name will be left out for suspense, of course. January 16 ppl dat talk liek dis."ppl" dat b misspellin thangs on purpose;
coz "dey" think dat it makes 'dem' luk kool.
sumbdy shud tell dem dat wot dey think makes dem luk kool axshully makes dem luk st00pid 4 realz. wen u want 2 make shur dat ur lukin reely st00pid, b shur 2 typ lyke dis, coz nuttin on earf make u luk lyke u gots da intellekt of a box o kraff dinnerz mo dan typin lyke dis. on da realz, cuz.
holla atcha....
peace-out.
werd, fo real... be'otch
my name is 'brad'
and if you talk like this, i say 'fuk u allz'
"p.s."
are you a member of the super-duper awesome...
'my name is brad' fanclub?
no?
"the good doctor..."
~1937 - 2005~
h.s.t.
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